Can you remember a time in your life when coincidences ran wild? I sure can.
I was divorced in my thirties. I had two small children and a life to redesign. Fear, confusion and turmoil cascaded in upon my life as I tried to find my way. Yet within this swirling mess, order would appear when and where it was least expected.
During this time, I applied to Sonoma State University in northern California so that I could go back and finish the college education I’d begun fifteen years before. Our house in southern California had to be sold, and unexpectedly it sold within days of going on the market. I had no way of knowing if I’d be accepted to the university, but I had to move forward. On the same day in June that the movers were packing our belongings, I received my acceptance letter to the university.
I traveled north with my children and moved into a condo a short drive from the Sonoma State campus. That summer we often went to the complex pool, and one day I saw an older woman swimming with two young boys my daughter’s age. She looked so familiar that I finally asked her name. She was the mother of my best friend in middle school, and I’d spent many happy hours in her home. My friendship with her daughter had waned during high school, but I did attend her wedding after high school. After that our lives once again moved in different directions, and we lost contact.
As I spoke with my friend’s mom, it became apparent that my friend and I were now living parallel lives. We had children of similar ages, and her husband was also now her ex-husband. He was living in the same condominium complex that I was. My friend, herself, lived three minutes away and was attending the university. In addition, she was now close friends with a neighbor from our childhood. Our friendships blossomed again. How lucky was that? But this story doesn’t end here.
One Saturday a year later, feeling a bit down, I called my friend and she invited me over for tea. While there she suggested that I stay for dinner since our other friend was also coming. Things weren’t quite that simple, however, because the man my friend was dating was also coming for dinner and bringing his Oregon childhood friend. It seems I had stumbled into what was supposed to be a “set-up” but not one for me. Talk about feeling like a fifth wheel, but the kids were having fun playing and the thought of going home just felt dark and dreary, so I stuck around. Long story short…that Oregon childhood friend became my husband!
Help From the Universe
All the coincidences that occurred during that tumultuous time fascinated me, and I was ever so grateful for them. Looking back on events like these always reminded me of the dot-to-dot coloring books my son devoured as a child. That was why I loved it when Steve Jobs said, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”
Twenty years later when my husband died, I once again found myself being led by the universe. Coincidences ran wild just as they had twenty years before. Both instances were times of great turmoil and transformation. People, books, quotes, and events appeared in my life just when I needed them. They helped to lead me out of the dark.
Research reveals that it is common for there to be an increased number of coincidences, or synchronicities as Swiss psychologist Carl Jung called them, during times of great change in our lives. This is when our routines and patterns are disrupted, and we feel lost and vulnerable. We are consciously and even unconsciously seeking answers, and we’re open to any answers that are out there. The universe seems to rise to the occasion with a more complex form of synchronicity called clusters. These may take weeks, months or even years to completely unfold.
From my experience these synchronistic events are joyful and fascinating. I don’t need to understand them or know if it’s all about quantum physics or the mind/matter connection because I have lived them. I have happily followed the trail of bread crumbs they leave. For me these coincidences, these synchronicities, are when I feel most connected to the universe. These are the times when I truly feel the magic that surrounds us. So have faith, be open and the universe will light your way too.