In The Four Agreements Don Miguel Ruiz, a nagual or shaman of the Eagle Knight lineage, shares ancient Toltec wisdom with us. Included in this are the four agreements:
- Be impeccable with your word.
- Don’t take anything personally.
- Don’t make assumptions.
- Always do your best.
Sounds simple, doesn’t it? It’s not! Some time ago I read this book very quickly, mostly because I’d borrowed it and wanted to return it. I was intrigued by the four agreements and decided to try to integrate them into my daily life. To say it wasn’t easy is an understatement. This is not a book to be read quickly just to satisfy your curiosity about what the agreements are, and I’m so glad I decided to reread it. This time I studied it, savored it, was made uncomfortable by it, and ultimately came away loving it.
The Smokey Mirror
I savored the introduction of the Toltec story of the “Smokey Mirror” and how we live in a dream not being able to see the real world. I felt an urge to read this story slowly, to read it out loud, and to let the words melt into me. It read like music. As I read on past this introduction, however, I found myself disturbed by the bleak picture that Ruiz paints of how we live our lives.
Ruiz describes how as young children we are free and innocent, but slowly over time we become “domesticated” into society’s dream and are pulled away from our own personal dream. We learn to judge ourselves and others using the thought patterns and belief systems that we have acquired over the years. In addition, that part of us that receives the judgments becomes the Victim.
At some point in our lives, we may rebel against the agreements that have been ingrained in us since childhood, but this is difficult. Because we have held these beliefs to be true and real for so long, they have become the thought patterns that we are comfortable with. They have become part of who we are, and when we try to change them, the inner Judge protests loudly against us. We, therefore, often continue to hold on to the agreements of society that have been instilled in us, even though some of them may cause us to suffer and live in fear, no longer feeding our inner spirit.
I put down the book at page 100. By that time, I’d read the chapters that described each of the four agreements, but I wasn’t yet seeing the light. Feeling downhearted from Ruiz’s dark description of the world in which we live, I needed a break. After lunch I was determined to muddle through the rest of the book. Well, by page 102, I was cheering. It was like reaching the climax of a story when the hero finally begins to become the master of his own journey. The lights came on and I finally understood.
Out of the darkness
At this point Ruiz describes the Judge, the Victim, and the negative beliefs that we often buy into as a parasite and explains how we can each become a warrior that chooses to rebel against this parasite. First we must become aware of the limiting agreements we carry within us that cause fear and suffering. We can then begin to replace these with positive agreements such as the four agreements. Over time with practice, we can become masters of our own dream.
Our learned agreements or patterns of thinking are usually on auto-pilot; and while some are positive, others cause us to suffer or live in fear. These habits and ways of looking at ourselves and the world around us have been built into who we are by practice and repetition, and it is with this same method of practice and repetition that we can shift negative patterns to positive ones. Luckily as we become aware of what we want to change and begin to make the transition, one positive step seems to naturally connect us to the next one and the one after that.
When reading this book, I wanted to call friends and invite them to read The Four Agreements with me so we could discuss it together. I wanted to savor and share its wisdom and nuggets of insight. This will be a book that I revisit time and time again; and now with a fuller understanding, I will find my inner warrior and continue on my journey with the four agreements.