As I write this, I am sitting not far from one of Sedona, Arizona’s most powerful vortexes, and one whose energy is recognized as strengthening the feminine-masculine, or yin-yang balance. Understanding ourselves is something we all strive to achieve. Why we do what we do, respond as we respond, act or fail to act in a given situation is something each of us constantly analyzes. And when our actions or responses are inconsistent from experience to experience, we often times find ourselves questioning our every motivation, not to mention our very sanity.
Who we are and how we respond in any given situation is influenced by a feminine-masculine polarity that is part of each of us, male or female. It is the Yin and the Yang…and balance between the two is essential. So what distinguishes the male from the female polarity? And, how do we achieve this balance between masculine and feminine?
The Masculine Side (Yang)
Essentially, the masculine side comes from a place of strength…the strength of self. This side of each of us comes from a deep belief in the value of our own lives. This value is one you know at your core that you really and truly earned. While not the perfect description, perhaps the closest description of the masculine persona is self-esteem. Those of us with strong masculine sides are in control (or at least think we are) of our own lives.
We act from internal control, rather than being acted upon by outside forces. Positive masculine behavior can best be described as appropriate risk taking, decisiveness, deep concentration and focus toward completing a task, as contrasted with the more negative manipulation, intimidation and force. Next time you find yourself in the perfect place to “people watch,” look for someone who isn’t afraid to meet another person eye-to-eye, who stands straight, who immediately catches your eye as having a presence that cannot be ignored. This person is exhibiting her strong masculine side.
The Feminine Side (Yin)
Like the masculine side, the feminine side is also viewed from the perspective of value. But instead of a value placed on yourself, the feminine side is based, at the deepest core level, on the value you place on others. It is perhaps best summed up by the word goodness. A person with a strong feminine side is giving and unselfish. She tends to act in ways that help others get what they want out of life. Feminine-dominant individuals don’t interfere with others’ lives but, when asked, willingly give of themselves by being supportive, cooperative and selfless, as contrasted with selfish, greedy, blaming and irresponsible for oneself. When people-watching, you can identify a strong feminine side by such characteristics as perseverance, tenacity, insight, kindness, compassion, patience and a responsiveness to the needs of others.
The Importance of Balance
A balance between the feminine (Yin) and masculine (Yang) is essential to a healthy physical, emotional and spiritual life. This balance is best summed up by a desire and ability to treat others as you treat (or should treat) yourself. An out-of-balance masculine side may find you being pushy or taking unfair advantage of someone or their situation. An out-of-balance feminine side, on the other hand, may find you being a doormat for others.
Perhaps the best barometer for which side is stronger within you is the fear/anger balance within your life. A stronger masculine side tends to tip the scales toward feelings of anger rather than fear, while a stronger feminine side tips the scales in favor of fear. Out-of-balance individuals whose masculine side predominates will feel themselves unjustly treated by others, tending toward anger and aggression, and placing a much higher value on her individual rights as compared to those of others. On the other hand, when the feminine side is out of balance, a person will feel as if she is treating others unjustly; she feels fear far more easily than anger. This leads to feeling fearful and defensive, and engenders an unrealistically low opinion of one’s own rights as compared with the rights of others.
Developing Balance
Looking within, ask yourself which of the two sides predominates in your life. Are you more masculine or do you tend toward the feminine? Do you find yourself achieving life’s successes through manipulation and intimidation? Are you quick to anger? If this sounds all too familiar, then work on developing the feminine side of you to achieve and maintain harmony. Consciously look outside yourself and ask how you can do something for someone else and then do it. Conversely, if you feel like you are being used, as the proverbial doormat, or your focus is constantly outside yourself with no eye toward you, then work on developing a stronger masculine side.
Achieving balance depends a great deal on who you are as a Being. Both sides, the masculine and feminine, depend on what your Inner Self has learned to become. Do you like what you have learned? If not, there is no better time than now to focus on creating a new Inner Self!